Beautiful Doom
by beefer-beefed
Summary: A Grey's Anatomy themed fic, five months after his brother died in his plane crash. Dr. Kurt Hummel is content with the life he's living, until a patient comes into his life and reminds him just how much he has left to lose. This story is from Kurt's POV and is Kurtbastian, but features Blam, Quinntana and Puckleberry. R&R and of course enjoy :) Rated M for later chapters.


"I just wish you were here Rach – Cleveland has a _great_ program but you belong over here. Not thousands of miles away" Kurt said into his bluetooth as he mechanically moved around his kitchen, he'd already eaten breakfast and had his morning coffee. Now he just needed to do a quick once over of the stove and counters while he had his morning chat with Rachel. _I wish you were here with me_ are the words that scream in the back of Kurt's head, but him and Rachel rarely say the things they mean to. He knows she's thinking the same thing in Cleveland right now and that is certainly enough.

"I can't go back to Seattle Grace Mercy Death Kurt, that's my past. Cleveland Clinic is my future, they have the best Cardio program in the country here..." Rachel said, her voice drifted off as she spoke and Kurt could tell that she was holding back a little. Rachel wouldn't say what they were both thinking, everything that they'd lost during their five years of residency together at Seattle Grace Mercy West. Too many friends, had died there over the years – cancer, a shooting and most recently a plane crash. Kurt couldn't blame her for running, _he_ wanted to run, but he couldn't. Seattle was his home, he still lived in his Father's house that he'd grown up in and Kurt still drove the car that he'd bought from the dealership down the street.

"It's fine, I just miss you is all..." Kurt said with a smile on his lips – he had to change the subject before things got uncomfortable, he slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and he headed out of his house to the green convertible parked out front. It was probably getting time to get a new car, but he'd had this one since med school and the vehicle held a certain... sentimental value for him. Kurt couldn't help but laugh when he thought of his intern year where Brittany had thrown a party and him and Puck had ended up making out in the back seat of it.

"I know, I miss you too – I'm removing an aneurism the size of an apple today from a woman's heart, so you can also be jealous. I get two surgeries for the price of one because she also has complete vascular ring." Rachel said and Kurt can hear her light laughter filtering through from the other side of the line and Kurt can't help the smile that spread across his lips as he rounded the car to the his driver's side and grabbed the handle. Only to feel a piece of gum that had been stuck to the underside of the handle.

"I just stuck my hand in gum – so yes, I'm very jealous of your record breaking aneurism." Kurt said with a sigh before the two exchanged a goodbye with a promise to call later with patient updates. Kurt went back into his house and washed the sticky mess off of his hands before he headed back outside to climb into his car. Kurt cracked his neck before he started the engine and began to pull out of his driveway, he could already tell that it was going to be a long day. It's the little things that he'd noticed, the fact that he was out of coffee filters and had to drink instant over freshly brewed – sleeping in and having to express his morning moisturizing routine. Kurt's phone began to buzz again and Kurt put the bluetooth to his ear again as he answered it with a smile on his face.

"That was a fast surgery" Kurt said with a light laugh as he slowed down at a red light, Kurt was now driving through downtown Seattle and it was relatively busy, even for a morning rush. He couldn't help but think it was slightly ominous, for a surgeon, this many cars jammed on the road was a clear sign it was going to be a busy day. It made sense though because it was a beautifully clear day out – one of five that Seattle seemed to get a year.

"It's being postponed till this afternoon. I'm surprised it hasn't killed her yet honestly, the girl and her boyfriend are these weird doomsday preppers getting ready for the apocalypse." Rachel said and Kurt could hear her clearly chewing on something as she talked to him on the phone. It was likely some lame attempt at breakfast that she'd bought from the cafeteria or coffee cart when she'd found out her surgery was pushed back.

"Well then why was it postponed? Why not do the first part this morning and the second tomorrow morning?" Kurt asked as he went through the now green light and drove down main street, if the patient was such a ticking time bomb it made absolutely _no_ sense to keep the poor girl waiting. If that aneurism blew, it'd be _much_ better if someone already had their hands on it when it happened.

"It's our Chief of Surgery, he thinks that Dr. Thomas is too old and needs to retire or whatever. His procedures are _flawless_ and our Chief is just throwing his weight around – trying to push him out, so Dr. Thomas is doing the surgery this afternoon and in the guise of a basic valve replacement." Rachel sounded a little tense, Kurt knew that she'd grown close to the old fossil since she'd started her fellowship there a couple months ago. It was difficult at first because Rachel was a beacon of modern science and was incredibly passionate about her craft, Dr. Thomas happened to be a relic who had apparently managed to convince her that despite being eighty-four. Was still one of the greatest and most innovative surgeons in North America.

"I'm jealous that you've found a new bestie-" Kurt started as he shook his head, he stopped himself as he saw some sort of commotion, just off to the side of the road and he instantly pulled off in case someone was hurt.

"Kurt?" Rachel asked as she waited for him to continue.

"Hang on, I think there's been an accident – I'll call you later..." Kurt said as he hung up on her, he knew full well she wouldn't be offended. They were surgeons before they were anything else – it's why the two of them had always been such a good friends after all.

Kurt slid out of the car and jogged over to the crowd that was gathered around a small car that was halfway up the curb. Kurt passed a mangled bike and pushed through, shouting that he was a doctor – for a moment Kurt froze at what he saw. The car had hit a cyclist and the tire was sitting on the boy's chest on the curb, his face was broken and bruised as green eyes looked up at the crowd, pleading for someone to help him but his voice was so thin and raspy that Kurt couldn't make out anything that he said.

Kurt fell beside the boy's head as his mind flashed to the event that had defined everyone in his life just five months ago. The injuries, the height, even the age looked about the same as his brother. Kurt shook the thoughts away, he'd taken an oath and was going to save this boy – whoever he happened to be. Now was not the time to let the memory of what happened over five months ago get in his way, when someone's life was on the line Kurt didn't have that luxury.

"My name is Dr. Hummel and I'm going to get you out of here, what's your name?" Kurt said as he looked at the car nervously, the boy nodded his head and his voice croaked out from the back of his throat.

"Se- Sebastian... I – I can't breathe..." Sebastian said as his voice came out low and rough, laboured with the crushing force that was pressing down on him. As soon as he spoke his eyelids fluttered closed and Kurt felt himself begin to panic as he saw images of his brother flashing through his mind again. Kurt felt a chill go down his spine as he saw his brother's face crushed under a piece of wreckage from the plane, he'd been able to hang on for hours before he went. They'd been stuck out there for a week and here, back home they had resources available to him they could only dream of having out there. Kurt was going to save this man, whatever it took.

"I'm on the phone with 911, the paramedics are on their way but they said not to move him" A balding, middle aged man in a trench coat said with his phone pressed to the side of his face. Kurt gave him a dismissive look before he spoke.

"He'll die before they get here, I need help to get this car off of him." Kurt said as he stood up to try and push the car, his eyes scanned the crowd as he did and watched as no one moved to help him.

"I don't wanna be responsible if he ends up paralysed or something..." A mousy looking woman said with her arms folded tightly across her abdomen. Kurt nearly snarled at her before he retorted.

"Can't you see he's dying?! Do you want to be responsible for that?!" Kurt yelled, his words were nearly venomous as he yelled at the woman. His rage - filled eyes looked across the crowd and waited for someone to step forward as they all looked amongst each other, unsure.

"Is anybody going to help me?!" Kurt yelled again before a man stepped forward and riled everyone, Kurt let out a small sigh as several people lined up against the side, front and back of the car and lifted it off the man. Kurt went to support the green eyed victims neck as another man helped him pull Sebastian out and onto the sidewalk. In the distance, he could hear an ambulance coming, Kurt looked at a woman and told her to call Seattle Grace and put the phone to his ear. _Come on breathe damn it, breathe_ Kurt thought to himself as he felt for a pulse along Sebastian's carotid artery. It was weak, but it was there _Come on, just breathe damn you_ Kurt thought again before he heard a raspy intake of air and Kurt let out a sigh of relief. _Oh thank God, he's alive... HE's alive._

"Kurt are you seeing this patient through at the hospital?" Sam asked him as Kurt worked at trying to stabilize the multiple fractures in the boy's arm, doing his best with what he had and listened to the weak breathing grow quieter and quieter. Kurt knew that they didn't have a lot of time, this man needed to get in to the OR as fast as possible.

"Well he's _my_ patient so yes I will. Why?" Kurt asked, a little perturbed that the paramedic was questioning him, the two of them had been friends for almost three years, ever since Kurt had sat with him while Sam's partner – the driver of the ambulance had to have emergency surgery.

"It's just this patient is a lot like..." Sam kind of trailed off, he didn't want to push Kurt too much, as if he was so delicate that simply saying Kurt's brother's name would break him right there. He'd died over five months ago, yes it had been awful and yes it was tragic – but this wasn't that. The injuries may have been nearly identical but they had more resources now, Kurt could save this man. Whoever he was, he belonged to someone and Kurt was going to make sure his family saw him again.

"I'm fine Sam." Kurt said shortly as the ambulance came to a stop at the ER and the doors to the ambulance flew open. Instantly there were several interns, a couple residents and of course, the Trauma Fellow Blaine and the Neuro Fellow Quinn. Kurt locked eyes with both of them and they exchanged knowing looks before they came to the patient's side in an instant.

"His eyes respond normal to visual stimuli, I have a kid having seizures in trauma two – if you need me, page me." Quinn said after she did a quick neuro exam while the gurney rolled through the ER. She turned on the spot and disappeared through a door that led to one of the trauma rooms. In the distance Kurt could hear a woman crying, but he didn't have time to think about her, all he could do was focus on saving this boy.

"Rose, I've got a cyclist versus car with multiple crush injuries. See him up to OR three, it should be prepped and ready." Kurt said as he handed the gurney off to the brunette Intern.

"Wilde, my car is parked at Main and fourth, go get it for me." Kurt said as he threw his keys at the disgruntled looking Intern

"Hummel – you just stole my Intern." Puck said as he hovered over a small boy and was conducting an exam on the little guy.

"Sorry." Kurt said dismissively as he headed towards the locker rooms to quickly get changed so he could head up to the OR and meet his patient.

In the OR the patient's body cavity is a war zone, Kurt had to pull in two more interns and was frantically trying to stop the massive amount of bleeders throughout the body.

"Lynn run the bowel one more time and check for perforations" Kurt said as he laid stitch after stitch through the man's body. The door from the scrub room slid open as Santana slipped into a gown, Kurt had the man's leg x rayed and there had been a complete break in the left leg and itwas hitting the femoral artery.

"Wow that's nasty" Santana said as she eyed the x ray, her comment earned her a pretty dirty look from Marley who simply responded with an "uh – yeah"

"How do I do that again?" Ryder asked and Kurt could practically hear Santana roll her eyes from where she was working. He'd need to remind him later to be more thorough when he was studying up, general surgery was complicated because it involved several different organs, but it was no excuse to fall behind.

"Take the intestines in your hands and run them through, gently" Kurt said as his hands continued to fly into action. His first assist was a little stunned and Kurt shot her a death glare "stop staring and suction Motta" Kurt said to Sugar who went back into action almost immediately. "Scoop it right out with your hands, there's too much blood – I can't see _anything_." Kurt said, operating now based off of feel alone as he clamped off bleeder after bleeder.

The five of them worked in tandem as Kurt managed to solve problem after problem, the patient's heart stopped for a moment but they shocked it back before they continued. "Damn it, Livers extenuating – Lynn grab a clamp for this, Motta _more_ suction" Kurt said as he noticed the scrub nurse give Ryder the clamp without even being told which one was required. More than anything he adored his scrub team, they'd gotten familiar with each other over the past five years, every one of them usually knew what move he was going to make before he made it. Though Kurt couldn't help but wonder if the slightly moronic intern would even know what clamp to ask for, tomorrow he could be harsher with his teaching. Today wasn't the time for it though, because in _this_ surgery, all Kurt could think about was doing everything humanly possible to save this guy.

The door to the OR slid open and Dr. Schuester walked in, "good news, we found the boy's parents but they're in Toronto and there's a bad storm over there. They won't be able to fly in until tomorrow."

"Okay good, hang another unit of blood" Kurt said as he continued to work away on the liver, and practically ignored his fellow general surgeon that had just walked in.

"That one makes fifty-seven" Marley said as she hooked up another litre of blood for the man. Everyone except for Kurt seemed to exchange a knowing glance with each other, though none of the interns were willing to risk the legendary wrath of Kurt Hummel by speaking up.

"Kurt we've replaced his entire volume of blood four times over I think -" she began before Kurt immediately cut her off.

"I can do this." Were the only words that came out of his mouth, he didn't even bring his eyes up from what he was doing. One slip up, one mistake and then it would truly be over for his patient and he promised himself that he was going to see his parents again.

"You might have to pack him and let it rest Kurt, it looks like you might be at the point of diminishing returns – there's a limit to how much a person can take. He was crushed by two tonnes of metal, that's a lot of trauma for the body" Schuester said as he stood opposite of Kurt on the other side of the OR table. Kurt refused to give up, every single stitch reminded him of what they didn't have the resources to do for his brother, for everything that he'd lost five months ago.

"I know. I know exactly how much trauma that is for a body. I'm not doing damage control here, I'm not going to pack him up and hope for the best." Kurt said abruptly before he finally looked up from the patient and at his mentor that stood across from him.

"I need you to stop." Schuester said, his voice a little more stern this time.

"What my patient needs is an intact liver." Kurt rebutted as he went back to working on the failing organ.

"Kurt, just take a second." Santana said as she finished up the repair that she had been working on on the man's leg.

"I am trying to save his life." Kurt shot back, his brow furrowing as he lowered his eyes on Santana.

"Hands off the patient. Now." Schuester said before everyone _except_ for Kurt took a step back from the OR table and he continued to furiously work on the liver.

"Hummel" Schuester said slowly as Kurt looked up at his mentor again and let out a sigh before he put his tools down and looked around the table.

"Let's pack him up."

"So the liver has been packed and the next twenty-four hours are crucial." Kurt said to Marley as he wrote notes on the procedure into the patient's chart. He stood there leaning against a stand as he scribbled them down, Kurt hardly noticed Will walk into the room after Marley stepped out.

"Kurt" Will began as the brunette looked up from the notes he had been taking and looked at his former mentor. "Do you want me to take point on this?" Will asked as he looked sympathetically at Kurt.

"On my patient? No." Kurt said dismissively as he continued to make a few notations in the chart, hoping that Will would just leave before he tried to make the connections between Sebastian and Kurt's deceased brother.

"Kurt I'm... I'm concerned this might be hitting a little too close to home" Will said as he walked closer to Kurt who stopped taking notes to look up at the doctor beside him. "After everything that happened with Finn, same injuries, same age." Will added sympathetically as Kurt maintained his carefully constructed mask of indifference. It was moments like these that Kurt understood why interns had taken to calling him 'the ice queen' behind his back, the Attending that froze interns solid with a single glare.

"What's your point?" Kurt asked, doing an expert job at concealing his emotions. It was all part of the job after all, keeping the two separated, emotions and duty.

"My point. Is emotions might be clouding your judgement." Will said, his tone taking on a stronger air of authority now as he spoke.

"They're not, now if you'll excuse me. I have to go check on _my_ patient." Kurt responded before he grabbed the chart and moved around Will and left the room. The last thing Kurt needed was sympathy from someone that he, quite frankly didn't even like all that much. The man was a good surgeon, but Kurt had bigger dreams, he wanted greatness, not just mediocrity and it was well known that Kurt was quickly becoming more skilled than his former mentor.

"Dude I heard you went all anarchist on Schuester in the OR... badass" Puck said as Kurt, Blaine, Quinn, Santana and the muscular Pediatric Surgeon sat down to dinner in the cafeteria. Kurt couldn't help but roll his eyes, about to protest when Santana cut him off after exchanging a smirk with Quinn.

"He totally did, Schuester was yelling at everyone to stop operating and I'm pretty sure I saw Kurt flip him the bird from inside that guy's abdominal cavity." Santana said with a laugh, finding it particularly entertaining since she'd never really cared for the senior General Surgeon.

"I did _not._" Kurt said pointedly as he stabbed his fork into his salad and took a bite out of it, everyone at the table minus Blaine seemed to give the boy a round of applause and Kurt made a point to shoot a glare at every single one of them.

"Well I think it was brave Kurt, the way that you advocated for your patient." Blaine said with a smile the genuine tone was infectious and it quickly spread to Kurt's face which made him realize that it was the first time he'd smiled since that morning.

"_Thank you._" Kurt said dramatically as Quinn finally chimed in, her tone softer as she characteristically led the conversation into a more serious direction.

"Is that what was going on in there Kurt? It is... it's a lot of Finn for the day." Quinn said as she spoke of the boy she'd dated in her fourth year of residency. It had lasted for a few months before the affair flamed out, the two remained good friends and she'd been there, when he had died in the woods with Kurt and Rachel. Quinn had nearly lost her leg because of an injury that got infected while they were out there in the woods.

"Yes Quinn, now is this interrogation over yet? What about that kid you had this morning?" Kurt asked, as he expertly changed the subject so to avoid the uncomfortable feeling that had started to wash over him.

"Turns out she had a heart condition, misdiagnosed as epilepsy but my not-so idiot intern, Puckerman Junior. Noticed an abnormal heart rhythm on the monitor before one of her seizures. Had to page that hack from Cardio, but they got the job done." Quinn said, her eyes moved to Puck as she mentioned the Cardio fellow whom no one was a particularly big fan of, but especially Puck.

"Have you talked to Rachel?" Puck asked, his typically hard expression softened as he spoke and it touched Kurt's heart a little. When Rachel had left for Cleveland, she'd left Puck behind with Seattle. Claiming it was 'part of her past and she needed to move forward'.

"_I just don't understand why you're leaving?" Kurt had asked as Rachel loaded everything she owned into her car to drive across the country._

"_Because horrible things happen here Kurt, you should take the job offer from Boston. You should leave too." Rachel had rebutted as she went to get into her car, but Kurt held the door shut._

"_No, horrible things happen period. Which is why we should stick together, you can't just leave us Rachel – me, Puck... we need you here." Kurt said, before the accident everyone had been all set to go off into separate directions. Puck was going to Baltimore, Kurt to Boston, Rachel to Cleveland and Quinn _t_o Rochester, Then everything changed._

"_Seattle... Puck is part of my past and I need to move forward, I need to get out of here."_

"Kurt... Kurt... Kurt?!" Santana yelled and shook Kurt from the flashback before he just looked around at the table of people who were all staring back at him. "Puck asked you if you'd talked to Rachel and you spaced." She said as she quirked an eyebrow at him curiously.

"Yeah this morning actually, I'm going to call her now – she was removing an aneurism the size of an apple today and has to take care of the vascular ring tomorrow." Kurt said as he slid away from the table, his thoughts a little distant as he dumped his garbage into the trash can and left the cafeteria.

"He's going to be fine" Kurt sighed into his phone as he stepped away from the patient window and rounded the corner. His black coat held his figure perfectly as his messenger bag swung from his side.

"Thomas made me leave my patient and now she's going to die and he's going to get fired..." Rachel said with a sigh, Kurt could hear the clanging and the distant sound of a cash register and knew Rachel was likely picking up tequila from the liquor store on her way home.

"Well I'm leaving my patient as well because Schuester thinks I'm getting too emotional with him and I need to distance myself." Kurt said, slightly exasperated and couldn't help but wonder when exactly he started listening to anything Will Schuester said to him.

"He's not going to be fine." Rachel said quickly.

"He's surrounded by interns Rachel, he has to be." Kurt quickly rebutted as he stood in front of the elevator and clicked the button.

"That's one of the signs Kurt, like locusts or the four horsemen of the apocalypse." Rachel countered and Kurt had to physically force himself onto the elevator.

"Well except there's only three of them and it's just one night." Kurt said as he heard his phone go a little fuzzy from the interference on the elevator.

"You need a bug out bag, my patient is a Doomsday prepper and has like twenty of them." Kurt laughed at how ridiculous some people could be _Doomsday Prepper_ Kurt thought to himself as he stepped off the elevator and felt a smile grace his lips again.

"What's a bug out bag?" Kurt asked, his curiosity spiked now that she'd mentioned it.

"Like a Diaper bag for adults." Rachel answered, Kurt's eye roll was so dramatic that he earned a weird look from one of the Mother's that sat in the main floor waiting room. When Kurt saw her he couldn't help but think about how worried Sebastian's mother must be, so many miles away and waiting out the storm. No idea if her son was going to even be alive when she got here.

"So what's yours have in it then?" Kurt finds himself asking Rachel,as he did his best to mask his feelings while he stepped out of the hospital into the cool night air.

"Tequila." Rachel answered, a slight ring of playfulness to her tone when she did and Kurt couldn't help but chuckle _called that_ he thought to himself as he saw Santana walking up in the distance and making her way across the parking lot.

"That's always a good start, if it's like a diaper bag, make sure you pack extras." Kurt says to her as he went to meet up with the latina doctor. Kurt knew for a fact that she'd left a couple hours ago and was more than a little concerned by her expression.

"So more tequila?" Rachel asked and Kurt paused as Santana made her way past him, fuming about how her idiot intern just closed an infected wound that had been left open over night to heal.

"I'm going back and staying the night." Kurt said as he watched Santana disappear into the hospital, he wouldn't let some idiot intern kill his patient.

"Me too" Rachel said with a sigh before the two shared their goodbyes and hung up.

Kurt found himself standing outside of Sebastian's room, he'd sent his interns away to monitor other patients and told them to come back every hour to check in on the two of them. A few cautious steps brought him beside the green eyed boy's bed, the machines were keeping him sedated and breathing for him while he was unconscious. Long eyelashes fluttered slowly beneath those lids Kurt knew there were sparkling green eyes, Kurt reached out and placed a hand on Sebastian's shoulder and heard himself speak before he even realized any words were coming out.

"I will get you through this, I will save you." Kurt said softly before he went and took a seat in the corner.

"He is barely hanging on. Should I take him back into surgery?" Kurt asked as he sat with his coat pulled over him like a blanket and watched his patient.

"Well what does Schuester think?" Rachel said questioningly from the other end of the line.

"He thinks I'm too emotional to handle this..." Kurt began as he watched the boy's monitors closely, his eyes never leaving the bed. "Vitals check..." He said as he slid out of his chair and made his way to the bed side

"Okay – are you still there?" Rachel asked a few seconds later, her voice was hushed as Kurt checked Sebastian's stats and examined the wound.

"Yeah why are you whispering?" Kurt asked before he noticed the faint snoring that was was coming through over the phone with Rachel's hushed tone.

"Bug out guy is asleep, he brought his own hemp pillow... Stable over here." Rachel said and Kurt continued his exam as he looked worriedly at the boy in the bed.

"Stable-ish... We should get some sleep." Kurt said as he as sat in the corner of the room again, his coat was pulled up to his chest as he tucked his feet underneath him.

"I'm not going to be able to sleep" Rachel said with a loud lawn that Kurt could _practically_ feel against his face.

"Yeah me neither." Kurt agreed as he watched the steady rise and fall of his patient's chest through his now half-lidded eyes. Kurt glance up at the clock and saw that it was nearly four in the morning now, if he to sleep now would mean a four hour sleep which would of course be better than nothing. "You know what we need?" Kurt asked as he cozied into the back of his chair, trying to make it more comfortable than it actually was.

"What?" Rachel asked as she yawned once again, this time he caught it and yawned soon afterwards.

"Thirty second dance party" Kurt said queitly as he remembered the days when if the two of them had a bad day at work they'd drink tequila and dance around the house. Even after Brittany got cancer, even after Mike got his by a bus, after Mercedes and Tina went down in the shooting – they always had each other.

"Okay... I'm too tired." Rachel said, her voice was getting softer now and Kurt's kept catching his head nod up and down.  
"Yeah me too." He confided before the two of them said goodbye and Kurt rested his head against the wall and allowed himself a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.


End file.
